Signatures

He used statistics the way a drunkard uses lampposts - for support, not illumination. Andrew Lang

Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital. Aaron Levenstein

If one only wished to be happy, this could be easily accomplished; but we wish to be happier that other people, and this is always difficult, for we believe others to be happier than they are. Charles Montesquieu 1689-1755

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Einstein

Failure? I never encoutered it. All I ever met were temporary setbacks. Dottie Walters

Science gives man what he needs, but magic gives man what he wants. Tom Robbins

Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams. Mary Ellen Kelly

All I want it a warm bed, a kind word, and unlimited power

An excellent plumber is infinitely more admirable than an incompetent philosopher. The society which scorns excellence in plumbing because plumbing is a humble activity, and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted activity, will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy. Neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water. John Gardner

Sucess is the mark on the brow of the man who has aimed to low

You can't control the wind, but you can adjust your sail.

My other computer is your Windows box.

"Are you being sarcastic?" "Dude, I don't even know anymore."

“It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.” Bumper Sticker

Being anonymous doesn't make you any less of an idiot

windows 95: n. 32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition. -Rev. Pee Kitty

Contrary to popular belief, Unix is user friendly. It just happens to be selective about who it makes friends with.

       -Kyle Hearn  <kyle@intex.net>

"Because user errors often produce unpredictable results, the user should try to avoid them." IBM MVS/XA System Programming Library.

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.

               -- Blaise Pascal

"Well you know, C isn't that hard, void (*(*f[])())() for instance defines f as an array of unspecified size, of pointers to functions that return pointers to functions that return void... I think".

Failure is not an option. It is a privilege reserved for those who try.

If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend six sharpening my axe.

               -- Abraham Lincoln

Customer: "I'm running Windows 95 and Internet Explorer 4." Tech Support: "Y-e-e-e-e-s........" Customer: "My Computer isn't working now." Tech Support: "Yes, you just said that."

Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in a world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary.

Having a great time, wish I were here.

He travels fastest who travels alone

He who hoots with the owls at night cannot soar with the eagles in the morning

He who walks in another's tracks leaves no footprint.

Her failings and her follies only made me love her more because there were none of them that had not once been mine.

He’s in love with himself but fears that his affection may not be reciprocated.

A corporate culture has to be built on expectations of performance, not rules of behavior.

A critic is a man who knows the way, but can't drive the car.

A cynic is a passionate person who doesn’t want to be disappointed again.

A failure is not always a mistake. It may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying.

Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward in the same direction. Antoine De Saint-Exupery

If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think, they'll hate you. Don Marquis

For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong. H. L. Mencken

Anyone who isn't confused here, doesn't really understand whats going on. Anonymous Belfast citizen1970

Asking whether a machine can think is precicely as interesting as asking whether a submarine can swim. Dijkstra?

When the ordinary man attains wisdom, he becomes a sage. When the sage attains wisdom, he becomes an ordinary man. Zen saying

"If a dog jump onto your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer" - ALFRED NORTH WHITEHEAD

"A cat is there when you call her - if she doesn't have something better to do" - BILL ADLER

"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want" - JOSEPH WOOD KRUTCH

"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." - ELLEN PERRY BERKELEY

Unlike dogs, goats and all other domestic animals, cats domesticated themselves.

"A cat has emotional honesty: Human beings, for one reason or another, may hide their feelings, but the cat does not." - ERNEST HEMINGWAY

"You can't own a cat. The best you can do is be partners." - SIR HARRY SWANSON

"In a cat's eye, all things belog to cats." - ENGLISH PROVERB